The Magyar Memoir- Part 13 Bath or Bust!

As I alluded to in the prior entry; Mylo had himself an interesting night previous to this lovely morning. After the rest of us had tucked ourselves in to the hostel. Mylo found another bar nearby, he started talking to one girl, who called a another girlfriend over, many rounds of pricey specialty cocktails were ordered and much conversation and laughs were had. The festive mood continued as thoughts of three-somes danced in young Mylo's head, until the girls invited another pit boss-esk man to join them, it was around this time that Mylo recalled an article he had read in one of his travel books, or perhaps in the English newspaper about how there was a "dine and ditch" sort of a scheme carried out by the Russians. He eyed the divine Russian vixens as they bated their heavily mascaraed lashes at him, then sized up the new Rusky at the table, and promptly excused himself somehow and and took off before he was stuck with a massive bar tab. Whether or not he paid for his own drink, I forgot to ask, as I was so entranced by the other details, which at this point I may have confused, but that's the story as I remember it.

The second day in Budapest was a big day- lots of tourism, but most of it at a snails pace, as Ashlee and I discovered on this trip that we shared a common passion. We were both on a personal quest to locate and hold court in "the quintessential European cafe". Thus, when ever we saw those familiar rattan folding chairs and round wrought iron tables in the distance, we had to divert the course of our tour to have a look, to confirm whether or not it was worthy of our patronage once we became overrun with hunger, thirst, or need of a restroom. With each cafe that peaked our interest we paused for a quick evaluation. Was there a patio? Was the interior design minimalist- yet with a distinctly cosmopolitan flair while maintaining the unique identity of the local culture? Were the biscottis made on the premises? Did they serve all their coffee drinks with a cocktail napkin on a saucer, cubed sugar and a dark chocolate square or wafer of some kind? Were the tables spaced out enough so that you wouldn't hit your knee on the table every time you crossed your legs, yet close enough together to listen in on other people's conversations? Were there any eye sores, such as ass backwards Americans wearing crocs, a fanny pack and a visor while asking the waitress embarrassingly idiotic questions loudly? I'll bet you haven't ever considered these factors when selecting a cafe to have a sit,a sip and a cig...well Ashlee and I spent the better part of the day developing our criterion and conducting a careful analysis. We did eventually select a suitable cafe that met our refined prerequisites, but it was not open yet so we had to get our morning espresso at some all-American truck-stop of a cafe...it was pure kitsch...disgusting I tell you! Although, the service was impeccable, I think, or maybe our waiter was just super hot, I forget. I think the coffee was good though the biscottis were probably pre-packaged.

Then I was almost hit but a bus...I bet those of you that were irritated about my snobbish description of the sub-par cafe are now intrigued by what's to come. Well, clearly I survived, but there is a video that captures the moment perfectly.( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXagFzdIOtM ) Yeah, that was me. On the video you can't really tell that I took two steps back to avoid the bus, my fear sounds rather fake too, but that was not staged I assure you.

All this action and it was barely noon! We continued past embassy row, where I flipped off the Korean Embassy for no real reason other that to remind it that I would no longer tolerate Kimchi in my spaghetti and people driving around with a magaphone blasting loud sales pitches for used scrap metal for sale at 7am on a Sunday. (I lived in Korea for a year). When we reached Hero's Square...which is actually a circle, we met up with Janie, but she and her mates were on their way somewhere else.

We continued on to this castle thingie, it was pretty touristy, but there was some great architecture to check out, and there was a mot complete with row boats that you could rent. Naturally, we could not resist! Mylo rowed first, but I was giddy with excitement waiting for my turn to row. It turns out that, considering the many hours as I have spent on the rowing machine at the gym, I am not proficient oarsmen. I rowed us in circles mostly, and almost lost an oar, but I'm sure the couples in the other boats had a good chuckle.


Finally, it was time for the grandest of our day's adventures...the TURKISH BATH, we had walked a long way to find it, over the river and through the wooded park...and finally we were sufficiently sweaty and ready. We were unimpressed with the first indoor pool, it was kind of slimy, so we continued to the outdoor pool, the first shallow pool was like a beef stew; a generous helping delicious meat both male and female, but there were way too many leeks, greasy geezers, which made our entry point into the pool tricky. Objective: bypass retiree central and get to the sexy side. Once we were in, we discovered this pool was really salty and about the temperature of urine, so we decided to try the next pool, it was full of children with inadequate supervision and therefore discipline, so this one was no good either,so we ventured on. Finally we had our Goldie Locks moment, and settled into a lazy river type pool, not too hot nor too cold. Ashlee, the sun goddess, decided to prematurely age her skin for a while on a deck chair, while Mylo and I explored the other offerings at the bathhouse. We found a crazy center-of-the-earth temperature sauna. What was interesting, beside the fact there there were toddlers in there kicking it with their parents, was there was a pile of snow outside the door for people to take in with them. After sampling the women only saunas, I went back outside to find Ashlee sound asleep on her towel with a killer sunburn smoldering on her back, I tried to wake her but she was out, so I let her be, and went to the snack bar...but never got there was I discovered a meditation room, where I communed with my inner chi, then feel asleep on my towel on a balcony overlooking the pool. What a great afternoon it twas.